Deeper than the Music
by GlassSerendipity
Summary: Gil wouldn't be the the first to admit that he doesn't have a lot of experience with women, but it's the truth nonetheless. When a cute girl in a coffee shop catches his eye, he doesn't know how to approach her without scaring her off or giving the wrong impression. If only he had some sort of sign... PruCan with fem!Canada
1. Chapter 1

He was sitting in Starbucks, mostly minding his own business. He tapped on the table while he waited for his coffee. Long white fingers strummed to the baseline that was pounding in his ears.

Lots of people pretended not to look at him. He had a rather startling appearance. Silvery white hair, red eyes, and paper colored skin. He stood out, which he didn't really mind at all. In fact, he liked the attention.

Today, there was one person he pretended not to be looking at right back. For the past few days he had gotten coffee, there was this girl who sat at a table by herself. Unlike him, she wasn't the kind of girl who garnered a lot of attention. She looked mousy and shy. Her long blonde hair was normally kept in pigtails and her glasses obscured the view to her eyes when she occasionally looked up from her laptop. Their eyes met.

She looked away first, a fine pink blush coloring her cheeks.

He couldn't understand why his heart was racing from just a glance. He hadn't felt like that since... Well, since a time he'd rather not think back to. For several days now, he debated whether or not he should say something to her. He'd kind of been hoping that she would approach him first, but that didn't seem to be the case. But she was pretty. Boy, she was pretty. And pretty girls made him nervous.

One of the baristas came out from behind the counter. Her skin was a rich cafe au lait, warm and earthy. She brought coffee to the pretty girl who sat by herself.

The girl looked up in acknowledgement, brought her hand to her chin and took it away again.

The barista stopped at his table next with the coffee. At that moment, his phone erupted with a high pitched squeal of a guitar and a screaming, "yeah!"

He went to check the text message but didn't have to read it when he saw the time.

"God dammit," he said under his breath. He was late for practice.

As he stood up, his chair screeched back. He grabbed the top of his mug with one hand and downed the hot coffee.

"Jesus..." the barista said, as she barely stepped away from the table.

He stole one last glance at the lonely girl. She was looking at him through her long lashes. She looked down at her mug and smiled.

He knew it wasn't just the coffee that was making his head feel hot. But he was already late for practice and God knows he was going to get chewed out.

* * *

"Gil, you're fired."

A skinny blond guy struck a cord on his guitar, checking the sound in the speakers.

"Ha!" Gil laughed. "You'd never be able to replace me."

"Easily. We'd just hold auditions for anybody who's even remotely adequate on the bass," the blond retorted.

"True, but nobody else has my charisma," Gil said with a grin. "If you wanted a better bass player, you'd play the bass and let me play the guitar."

"Not in your life."

"Relax, Arthur. He just wants to play guitar because he thinks girls would like him." Another blond man entered the stage. Rather than the messy crop of the guitar player, the drummer had long soft hair that was tied back. "Besides, everyone knows girls always want to bang the drummer."

"I didn't even know you played guitar." The newest member of the band entered stage left. He was tall, brunet, and unfairly handsome. It was his big dumb smile and absurd talent that made him a needed addition to the band.

Arthur scoffed. "I wouldn't call it that..."

"Toni..." Gil tried to appeal to the newbie. "If you'd just let me play your guitar for one night..."

"Oh no..." Toni clutched his guitar defensively. "This is my baby. No one plays her except me."

"See, there you go," Arthur said. "I'd trust Francis to play guitar over you."

"See, now that's not even fair. At least my instrument has strings," Gil defended himself.

"But I'm just good at everything I do," Francis said as he sat down behind the drum set.

"Enough talk. We've wasted enough time, if we nail this gig, the bar will book us for the rest of the month," Arthur said, back to business.

"Awesome," Gil said, plugging his bass into the amp.

Francis clicked off, and they started playing from the top of the set.

Despite the scene, Gil didn't really mind playing the bass. It was simple and easy enough to do his own thing. When he plucked the strings, it felt like the music was reaching his bones.

Arthur was lead singer, rhythm guitar, and manager of the band. He wore a lot of hats, but Gil was pretty sure he'd blow a fuse if he didn't control everything. Francis was a lot more laid back, but he kept everyone together. He tried writing songs a couple of times, but they were a little too mushy for Gil's tastes. Toni, well, Gil was still getting a feel for Toni. He was new but seemed to click pretty well with the group. He was still a little mysterious, but it's not like they all had to be best friends or anything.

As a band, they weren't terrible. They weren't exactly making a living quite yet, but they were booking more and more gigs.

"That's a wrap," Arthur said after they had been playing for a few hours. "Good work today. Francis, you tend to speed up when you hit the second refrain of the third song. Toni, you're slowing down. Gil... Gil, are you even listening?"

"What?" He said defensively. "I'm listening."

"You've been really out of it lately. It's coming across in your playing. You better get it together before tomorrow."

Gil waved him off.

"Hey." Francis wrapped his sweaty arm around Gil. "Let's go out for drinks."

"Drinks?" Toni perked up. "I'm in."

"Arthur, are you in or not?" Francis called out to the last member of the band.

"Piss off." Arthur said.

"Does he not drink?" Toni asked.

"Nah, he's just in a bad mood. When he goes out, he drinks too much, and Francis takes embarrassing pictures to hold over him," Gil explained.

"But that doesn't mean we can't have our fun! Let's get cleaned up and go all out!"

* * *

The three of them were more than just a little tipsy and laughing loudly as they sat at the bar.

"Hey, hey, what about The Tarantulas?" Toni suggested.

"Nah, nah, you're still not hitting the right vibe," Gil said.

"The Right Vibe?" Francis offered with his eyebrow raised.

Gil chuckled and nodded. "Better. Better, but no, we need a name that's a lot more badass." He downed the rest of his beer. "Got it, 'Eins, Zwei, Die.'"

"We aren't that metal. What about Heart Strings?" Francis suggested.

Gil rolled his eyes and took a swig of beer. "Way too mushy. There's no way anyone besides girls would ever come listen to us. Not everything's a love song."

"Oh? That's funny coming from you. You've had hearts in your eyes all week," Francis replied. "Who are they? Are they hot?"

It's like the mention of the girl brought her to the forefront of his mind. Gil had always been notoriously bad at lying and hiding his blush. "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

"Come on, my friend," Toni added. "You can't deny you've been acting weirder than normal."

"How would you know what my normal is?" Gil accused Toni.

"Plus, you never used to be late. My theory is you've been meeting up with them before practice and can't pull yourself away. So tell me, are they any good in bed? Have I slept with them before? I won't be offended, it's a small world..."

"God, no. She's not even your type," Gil snapped.

Both Francis and Toni put on their piss-eating grins. "Well, now we're getting somewhere..."

"So, what's she like?" Toni asked.

Gil slumped on the bar. "I don't know. I don't even know her. I haven't really talked to her."

"Gil," Francis said sternly. "I know you're all rusty after the whole incident with Liz..."

Gil gave Francis a piercing stare.

"Who's Liz?" Toni asked innocently.

"Nevermind her, she's no one. You're not going to get any sort of girlfriend if you don't at least attempt to start a conversation."

Gil rubbed his face. "Why did you have to bring up Liz?" he groaned.

"You need to move on. Starting with this mystery girl. Start off subtle."

"I don't do subtle. That's the problem. If I start something, I'm gonna scare her off."

"That's why you've got to start off small. And don't be creepy. Compliment her on something she has control over. Offer to buy her coffee. That's an easy first date," Francis suggested.

"Why am I even talking about this with you? I don't need any help," Gil exasperated. "If I wanted a date, I could get one like that." He snapped his fingers.

"Bad advice!" Toni quipped.

Francis glared at him. "Fuck off, my advice is golden."

"No, for a band name. Bad Advice. Pretty good, no?" he clarified.

"You might be onto something..." Gil said.

"Well, boys, I'm going to have to call it a night," Francis said. "It's getting late, and I'm broke enough as it is."

"What time is it?" Toni looked at his phone. He must not have liked what he saw since he comically winced and shot up. "Ay, I've got to go!" He proceeded to run out of there without bothering to settle his tab.

"What the hell..." With his bandmates gone, Gil was left to pay.

He mumbled expletives under his breath as he fished out the last of his cash.

Gil kicked at the sidewalk as he walked home. He was too nice. He deserved something nice for once. Or maybe just someone.


	2. Chapter 2

Gil had never had pre-show jitters. Even for the show that night, he wasn't that nervous. He had gotten to the coffeeshop early for this sole purpose, but for some reason, he felt the buzz of nerves in his system.

It was his turn at the counter. The same barista from the other day was waiting for his order.

"Do you remember this girl who's been coming here lately?" he asked.

"You're going to have to be a lot more specific," she said.

"She's got long blonde hair?" Gil said. He tried to be all nonchalant, but the girl wasn't catching his drift. "Pig tails, glasses, blue eyes, usually by herself, doesn't talk a whole lot?"

"Oh, I think I know who you're talking about. What about her?"

"Do you think she's coming by today?" he asked.

"Maybe. Why? You're not stalking her, are you?"

"No, geez, I just..." he sighed. "I want to pay for her coffee. That's all."

"Oh. Just that, or do you want something for yourself as well?"

"Just a small coffee for me," he said.

"$6.37 is your total."

Gil paid for it and went and sat at a table with a good view of the door. All he had to do was wait. He put headphones in and pulled up his music. Five songs in, she appeared. It was like a movie scene in Gil's head. He watched for her reaction when she went to place her order. She looked confused at first. Her eyes met his then averted down to the floor. She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. He spied a trace of a smile.

Gil's heart was pounding. He wondered if she would come over straight away to thank him or maybe even sit with him at his table. He took one headphone out of his ear so she didn't get the impression that he didn't want to talk. At the same time he wanted to look cool and make it seem that his whole day didn't hinge on whether she came to talk to him or not, so he looked at the wall. And he waited. And he waited. But she didn't come over.

Gil scanned the shop coolly, in case she was looking at him. She had grabbed her own booth, sitting by herself as per usual.

He tried not to let himself get irritated. There was probably a reason that she didn't come over. Maybe the barista didn't tell her that it was from him. Maybe she wasn't interested, but Gil didn't believe that option. Either way, he had tried to be subtle, but obviously that was not going to cut it. He was just going to have to man up and tell her outright.

So, he got up and approached her booth. She didn't see him, but he thought he'd just start talking anyway.

"You know, I'm the one who bought your coffee earlier." He said.

She didn't move.

"I know some people do that as some sort of pay it forward kind of thing. I didn't. Not that I don't think that's cool or whatever, but I was hoping that maybe we could meet and talk and stuff..."

She was ignoring him, completely blowing him off. Gil was starting to think that he had the wrong impression of her. He thought she looked nice. He thought she might even like him back, but this was just plain rude.

"Look, if I'm bothering you, you can just tell me. I'm not trying to be creepy or anything. I thought I'd do something nice."

Still nothing. Gil put his hand down on her table a little harder than he intended.

She flinched. She turned towards him. Her mouth formed a little "O" of surprise, and her eyes went wide.

Gil was kicking himself for scaring her. This is what he was trying to avoid in the first place, but she was starting to get on his nerves. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No," she said. Something about her voice seemed off to Gil. Like she was out of tune or couldn't control her volume. "Sorry. I'm deaf, but I can read your lips."

It took a moment for that to sink in. Everyone at the shop was looking at them. Her face flushed from embarrassment. Gil still needed to process. He had just acted like a complete jerk. He could feel everyone judging him.

He took his hand from the table and stepped back. He didn't know what to do or say now. The only other option was tactical retreat.

"Wait," she said, but her warning was too late. Gil ran straight into the barista. Her tray tipped and spilled coffee all over his jacket.

"Damn it," Gil cursed, ripping off the jacket so that the coffee didn't burn him. "Sorry," he said to the barista, looked back to the deaf girl, and then fled.

* * *

"Stop, stop, stop! God damnit, what is wrong with you, Gil?" Arthur interrupted the sound check. The bar was starting to set up for the night. The band would be on in a little more than an hour.

Gil ran his finger down the strings. He was frustrated, and Arthur's attitude was not making it any better.

"No really, are you trying to sabotage us?" Arthur continued to rant.

"Lay off him. That's not helpful," Francis said.

"No, you know what would be helpful? You getting your shit together. You're playing like absolute garbage!"

"Can we take a break?" Toni asked.

"Hear that? The new guy wants a break!" Arthur yanked out the cord on his guitar and stormed off the stage.

Gil shook his head and unplugged his base, he grabbed his water bottle and downed the rest.

"Hey, what happened?" Francis asked.

"I'm just... I'm not feeling the music today." It was an event that had never happened to him. He had no idea how to snap out of it.

Francis and Toni shared an understanding look.

"Gil, did you by any chance talk to that girl?" Toni asked.

"Yeah," Gil said, completely defeated.

"See? Never let your heart get run over before a big gig," Francis preached from his soap box.

"How did it go? What'd you do?" Toni probed some more.

"I didn't do anything wrong. She's deaf."

"So?" Toni said.

"So, I ran away," Gil confessed. "I looked like a complete idiot."

"That's it? She didn't turn you down?" Francis asked.

"No? I mean, I don't even think she even realized I was flirting with her," he said.

"Then, dude, you're golden! You still like her, don't you?"

"Yeah..."

"So learn some sign language! Chicks dig that sort of thing. Show the tiniest bit of effort, and you're in," Francis said. "You can't just give up."

Gil strummed mindlessly as he thought. Sure, he felt really stupid today, but he'd only be a coward if he didn't go back. He was starting to get his optimism back. He was sure she liked him, but things were getting lost in translation.

"Can you play now?" Francis asked.

Gil plugged his bass back in and churned out a bass line.

* * *

And the crowd went wild. This was probably the best reception the band had ever gotten. Gil was dripping sweat and grinning. He got a high from the applause and attention.

"Thank you! We are The Vindicators! Come see us again!" Arthur shouted into the mic.

Gil winced slightly at the name. Still not a good one. They'd have to come up with something better by the next show. He was smacked on the back of the head as he exited the stage.

"What was that?" Arthur asked, visibly irritated.

"What?"

"You threw off the rhythm on 'Not my Problem.'"

Gil shrugged. "My fingers slipped. It still sounded cool, and it only took us like a beat to recover." Gil personally thought it sounded pretty awesome.

Arthur pointed in his face. "If this costs us the gig, I'm blaming you."

Arthur shoved past him and put on a smile to greet the fans. Gil was about to join him when he got smacked on the ass.

"Hey, that was a pretty neat riff you did on 'Not my Problem.' Surprised me a bit," Francis said, leaning on Gil's shoulder.

Gil beamed. "Think so?"

"Yeah. Next time, I'll back off a bit to give you more room to improvise. We could probably even make it a bass solo."

Gil's confidence had never been higher. Arthur had no idea what he was talking about.

The band found out when they were paid that they really would get booked for the month.

"Great job guys," Arthur said, visibly happier with a wad of cash in his pocket. "Drinks on me." That got a whoop from Francis and Toni. Gil started for the door.

"Hey, are you going to drink or what?" Francis called after him.

"Nah, I've got to learn some sign language!" Gil called out enthusiastically.

"What the fuck is he talking about?" Arthur said.

"Ah, don't worry about him. He's got better things to do," Toni said with a goofy grin. Several groupies started to visibly swoon.

Gil rolled his eyes. Sure, there was a time when he would have been insanely jealous. He'd kill for his own groupies. There was an appeal in finding someone who loved the music as much as they loved the musician, but those loves weren't always mutually exclusive. Sometimes, neither of them were actually love, but lust for attention.

Still, this was going to be new for him. He never imagined he'd fall for someone who would never be able to listen to his music. This girl could never be a fan, but he supposed it was the feelings that mattered more.


	3. Chapter 3

Gil studied the signs on his phone over and over again. He wished he understood more of the hand signals, but there was only so much he could learn in one night. It wasn't just the signs he had to remember, but also the manners in starting a conversation with someone who was deaf.

He was so concentrated, he almost didn't notice when she walked in. Almost. It was getting harder and harder for him not to notice her. When their eyes met, she looked away more quickly this time. No smile. Instead of a faint blush, her face seemed to flush entirely.

Gil rubbed the back of his neck. He could tell she was embarrassed this time. What he needed to figure out was if she was embarrassed by him.

She took a long time trying to find a seat. She slunk into a booth and seemed to make herself smaller. Her eyes met his and then looked away again. So, Gil inferred, she wasn't completely avoiding him.

Well, Gil figured, he might as well get this over with. Either she was going to like him or she wasn't. The best thing he could do for both of them was make a move now and act accordingly.

So, he approached her table once more. She was decidedly not looking at him, so he tapped her shoulder, letting her know that he wanted to talk. She looked up, almost scared.

"I think you're really pretty," Gil said aloud with the signs. He read that it helps to say the words when they're signed.

The girl stared at him, the fear melting away. It was almost as if she was looking at him in awe. Gil could feel himself starting to blush.

"I don't know much ASL. Can I have your phone number?" he asked. This was the moment of truth. Those were all the sentences he had memorized so far.

It looked like she hesitated for a moment. She reached into her purse and pulled out a notepad. She scribbled on it, tore off a sheet, and handed it sheepishly to Gil.

Gil scanned it and couldn't help but grin. Not only had she written down a phone number, she put her name as well. Maddie. She had dotted the "i" with what seemed like a tiny, perfect circle.

He reached into his pocket and got his phone. He entered in her name and number right away.

"My name is Gil. I didn't mean to embarrass you the other day. I was just trying to introduce myself."

He sent the message and heard her phone buzz. She must have felt it because she took her phone out of her purse and read it quickly. She indicated for Gil to join her.

He sat down across from her and watched her type.

"It's nice to meet you, Gil. Sorry if I seemed weird. I thought I was the one who embarrassed you. You had left so quickly. Thank you for the coffee. I would have said that before, but I'm really shy about meeting new people. Sorry about what happened to your jacket. "

"It's alright," Gil replied. "I get that now, and don't worry about the jacket. This is my first time meeting someone deaf, so I wasn't quite sure how to communicate with you the best."

"You can talk to me. I can read lips pretty well, but I'm kind of self-conscious about my voice. I also carry around a notepad, and texting works too. I'm really impressed that you're learning ASL."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to learn it," he half lied. He didn't want to reveal that she was the sole purpose behind him learning ASL. "Now, I have a good excuse."

He saw her blush after she read the message. She tucked that stray curl behind her ear. One of the baristas delivered their coffee to the table. Maddie took a sip, trying to disguise the color on her face.

"So besides being deaf, I really don't know anything about you."

Maddie looked at her phone without typing. Her brows came together slightly.

"Not that you have to tell me anything. I mean, we are strangers." As much as Gil wanted that to change, he really didn't want to scare her off now. He wondered if he was coming off too strong.

"I was just trying to think of where to start. What did you want to know?"

"I noticed you're on your laptop a lot when you come here. What are you doing? If that's not too personal."

"Writing. I'm a novelist. I like to go out for a change in scene every once in a while, and the caffeine definitely helps. What about you? What do you do?"

"I'm in a band." As he was typing, an alert popped up on Gil's phone. He needed to leave for practice.

"Speaking of my band, I've got to go, but I really enjoyed talking to you. Do you mind if I keep texting you?"

Maddie smiled into her phone. "I enjoyed talking to you, too, Gil. I don't mind if you text me. When we see each other again, maybe I can help you learn some ASL."

"When." She had typed "when." Gil grinned, looked up at her, and nodded. He waved goodbye and made his exit. His heart was racing ahead like the greatest baseline. If he could just manifest this feeling into his playing...

* * *

Gil approached the other band members with a swagger in his step. He twirled in place as he got to the foot of the stage.

"Dude, did you do it?" Toni asked.

Francis did a drum roll. Gil dramatically pulled Maddie's phone number out of his pocket and displayed it proudly. "I've still got it!" he announced.

"Hey!" Francis did a cymbal crash. Toni ripped some congratulatory chords. Arthur just rolled his eyes.

"Very mature," Arthur said. "If you're done, we'd all like to get practice started."

"Oh come on, when was the last time you got a pretty girl's phone number?" Gil said, stuffing her number back into his pocket.

"Last night," Arthur said, casually tuning his guitar.

"Groupies don't count," Gil huffed.

"Don't be jealous just because you don't have any," Arthur said with a smirk.

"He's got one," Francis said, backing him up.

Gil hooked up his bass and his fingers plucked out a killer bass line.

"Wooh!" Toni cheered him on. They all listened as Gil finished off his riff and went straight into the opening part of their most difficult song. For the first time, Gil didn't trip over the first few notes.

Francis counted in, following Gil's lead. Toni found the groove and joined in as well. Once Arthur started singing, they were really rocking.

* * *

"Nice work," Arthur said, satisfied with practice for once in his life. "I know we've already been booked, but we'll really build up our reputation if we keep up practice like this. We can use this time to sharpen our skills."

Gil was already on his phone. He had found an app for learning different signs. He wanted to hold a decent conversation and understand what Maddie might say to him. It also didn't hurt to look up the different ways that deaf people flirt.

"Gil... Gil!"

Gil finally looked up, expecting either an offhand or direct insult. "What?"

Arthur shook his head. "I was going to say that you did alright today. If you weren't so distracted, you might make a decent bass player someday."

Gil rolled his eyes. Offhand insult it was. As he was putting his bass away, he got clapped on the back by Toni. "Hey, you're actually not that bad!"

"Not you too," Gil complained. "Why do you all think that I can't play? And Toni, if you thought I was so terrible, why did you even join?"

"I could you were passionate about the music, even if your talent wasn't quite so apparent as mine," Toni bragged.

"I've always had faith in the guy," Francis said, half hugging Gil.

Gil was starting to get really uncomfortable by the unwarranted touching. "Bullshit. I've always been awesome. You guys are just mean."

"But hey, Arthur was right. We should try to harness your skills. If you ever need help practicing, hit me up," Toni offered.

"Hey me too. I'm down to extra practice if it means we can play more like that."

"Just not too early. I don't do anything before noon," Toni said like the true rock star he was.

Gil blew them off. He could tell when he was getting made fun of. Still, he couldn't really deny the little bit of pride growing his chest. Maybe, just maybe, he could get recognized for his musicianship. Maybe now was the time to get a little bit more creative.


	4. Chapter 4

Gil was starting to get the hang of this. He had stayed up pretty much all night learning new signs. He was pretty sure he could hold a conversation of the words were simple. All he had to do was wait to test them out on Maddie.

She came in at about her usual time. She smiled when she saw Gil and gave him a little wave.

"Would you like to sit with me?" he signed from across the room.

Maddie absolutely beamed and nodded yes. She put her order in and sat across from Gil.

"Good afternoon, Gil," she signed. Gil noticed she had spelled out his name. She made her words slowly. Gil appreciated that, but he would never admit it.

"I read that people have their own sign for themselves. I was trying to think what mine would be."

"You usually choose a name based on traits or interests," she explained.

Gil had to look up a couple of those words. Their conversation was slow, but it was working. "What's your name?"

Maddie held up both her hands. She closed her fists into the sign for M. She placed her hands on either side of her head and pulled them down in waves.

Gil smiled. The sign suited her and her pigtails. Her blonde hair certainly had waves to it. They cascaded down to her chest.

"I was thinking of this." Gil made Gs with his hands and acted like he was playing his bass guitar.

"You play guitar?" Maddie asked.

"Sorta." Gil waved his hand. He tried to find the word for his instrument. He ended up just having to spell out the bass and add the guitar.

Maddie looked excited. "That's my favorite!"

"Bullshit." He couldn't help but grin while making the signs. Of course, one of the first things he learned was how to sign expletives. "You can't even hear the music."

"No, but I can feel it. If I turn my speakers up, I can feel the vibrations. It's easier to feel the lower parts than anything."

Gil had never been more in love with his instrument.

"I think it's really cool that you're a musician," she continued.

"It is pretty cool. But what about you? What sort of books do you write?"

Maddie's pretty blush returned. "Mostly romance and stuff. Books teenagers might enjoy."

Gil had to look up most of those signs. As he was interpreting, he suddenly had a thought. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-two," Maddie signed in reply.

Gil did the math in his head.

"Is that a problem?"

"No, no." He signed again. "I was just trying to figure out the difference. I'm a bit older than you."

"By what? 20 years?"

Gil nearly spit out his coffee after he looked up the number. "Do I really look that old?"

"It's the hair."

Maddie hid her smile behind her café au lait when it arrived. Gil ran his hand through his hair. He knew she had to be teasing.

"Ha ha." He signed. "Funny. I'm 28. It's only six years, but I know some people might think that's a bit wide."

"It doesn't matter to me," Maddie signed. "I hang out with people of all ages."

Gil got a little hung up on the "hang out." He tried to figure out what kind of hanging out she thought they were doing.

"You're a really fast learner," Maddie went on. "I've told others in the community about you. It's not very often a hearing person learns ASL on their own."

Gil had to look up a couple of those words. "Community?"

"Deaf and hard of hearing," Maddie elaborated. "It makes it easier when there's support from people who live the way we do. We help each other and hang out a lot since we all understand."

Gil suddenly felt competitive for a bunch of people he had never met. "I'd like to understand more..."

"I know and that's great." She paused for a moment and blushed. "We're actually going to meet up and watch a movie the day after tomorrow. I was thinking that maybe you would like to go with me."

"Yes," Gil answered before he could even finish translating what she was asking. All he need was "movie" and "go with me."

Maddie smiled at his enthusiasm. "Great. And don't worry. There'll be other hearing people there. They might be able to explain things better than I can."

But Gil really didn't care about the other people. He was about to go watch a movie with the cutest girl he had ever seen.

"I'll text you the details later," she signed.

Gil got her attention. "I have to ask you something first," he signed.

"What is it?"

"Do you know I like you?" he asked, a little scared of what her reaction might be.

Maddie blushed gloriously. She barely looked up at him. "Yes."

Gil sighed. "Good. I just wanted to make sure we weren't misunderstanding each other."

"I really like you too." Maddie's signs were small and reserved.

Gil could feel his face turn the same color as hers. His mind was swimming. He stood up immediately, which finally caused Maddie to look at him. The look in her eyes certainly wasn't helping his thought process. Her eyes were blue and shimmering from behind her glasses.

Gil really didn't know what to say or sign. His hand went up in reflex and signed "thank you." it had been the first sign he had seen her do even though he didn't know it was a sign.

Maddie looked at him in confusion, which only made it worse. He turned around robotically to face the door. He gave her another sign that wasn't really a sign. It was more of a combination of a wave and finger guns, letting her know that he'd see her later.

* * *

Gil had gone straight home. It was still too early to go to practice, though Arthur would probably argue differently. Gil could feel his heart pounding. He had no idea why the obvious was making him feel this way. He had been hoping for this, yes, but for too long it had seemed like some ridiculous wish or his ego getting the better of him again. A cool guy could have just accepted her feelings in stride, but Gil was too big of a dork to process feelings.

He hurried to get his bass out of its case. He strummed so that the beats per minute matched the pace of his heart. He closed his eyes and let his fingers on the frets do the processing. He wasn't plugged into anything, but he imagined how it would sound. He churned out something deep and persistent and yearning. Wait, he might actually be on to something here. He plugged the bass into the little amp he kept in the apartment. He tried the line again, sliding his fingers further and further down the neck. He paid careful attention to the way the vibrations felt. He hit a sweet spot and closed his eyes, letting the music he made take shape of the thoughts and feeling.

Gil grinned. He knew it all along. He was a musical genius.


	5. Chapter 5

Normally, he wasn't very good at writing out chords and melodies, but there was something about the music in his head. Every time he played, there seemed to be a theme that Gil couldn't quite put his finger on. It was a lot harder to think about than to just play it, but he had a feeling that this music was something important. The caffeine helped a bit, but not enough. He wished his musical genius would manifest to get him through the boring part.

His boredom was soon gone when a certain blonde walked in. She was a bombshell with curves for days. Shorts up to there. Shirt down to there. Gil didn't quite know where to look. He looked at her indirectly, sort of off to the side a bit to keep her in his periphery. Fortunately or unfortunately, off to the side stood another blonde looking more sheepish than ever. Their eyes met.

Gil cursed under his breath and fidgeted uncomfortably. Panic raced in his mind. Had she seen him looking? Would she misinterpret his actions? He was a red-blooded male and when certain women present themselves in certain ways...

The bombshell dropped right in the seat in front of him. Gil could feel his face blaze.

"Is this him?" The woman pointed at Gil accusingly.

Gil looked helplessly at Maddie. She didn't look much better than he did. She nodded.

"What did I do?" Gil said and signed, distraught over what he must have done in recent history to deserve this particular form of torture.

"You stole my date!" The bombshell said, still visibly upset. She dragged Maddie down to the seat beside her.

Gil was a little more than confused. With the two women sitting side by side, he started to notice how similar they were starting to look. If Maddie had her hair cut about seven inches shorted, ditched the glasses, and got a makeover at a Daisy Duke convention, she'd be a dead ringer for the bombshell.

"Gil, this is my - sister," Maddie signed. Gil didn't recognize the sign.

The bombshell rolled her eyes. "She's my twin. I'm Amy."

Twins? Gil thought to himself. If the two of them were twins, did that mean, Maddie looked like that under all the layers of baggy clothes and innocence? He shook the thought out of his head or else he'd really be in trouble.

"And Maddie always takes me to the movie. No way I'm gonna let a poser like you take my place without a thorough background check."

Maddie tapped her sister on the shoulder. "Could you sign, please? It's hard to understand you when you're sitting beside me."

"He's a stranger. I'm your sister. You should have picked me," Amy said and signed.

Gil had studied enough sign language to recognize that her sentence structure shifted dramatically simpler to accommodate for the signs. He was getting the feeling that she wasn't quite proficient either. Odds were that she was still ahead of him though.

"If she picked me, I've already won this fight, then," Gil said.

That got Maddie to smile. He may have been thrown off by the sister's looks, he knew he had chosen the better twin.

"Musicians," Amy sneered. "You know they're only after one thing." No interpretation was needed for her next sign.

"A good, steady partner with conversation skills?" Gil filled in the blank, offended by her assumption. Though he wouldn't mind the other sign once a firm base had been established, both parties were comfortable, and consent enthusiastically given.

Maddie blushed prettily. "Gil's nice. I want to get to know him more. I actually think you two might get along."

Gil and Amy looked at each other quizzically, sizing the other up. Amy suddenly covered up her sister's eyes.

"If you take advantage of and hurt my sister, I will kill you," Amy said, easily preventing Maddie from removing her hands. "What are your intentions with her?"

"Look, I really like Maddie. She's like the sweetest, most adorable creature in the entire world. I wouldn't dream of hurting her. Plus, she's like the only girl who's given me a chance in like a decade," Gil said. "Let me at least try to prove I'm good enough for her."

He was a little more honest than he intended to be, but it appeared to have worked. Amy's expression softened and a smile pulled at the corner of her lips. She let go of her sister's face and slammed an elbow on the table.

"I challenge you to an arm wrestling match. Winner gets to go with Maddie to the movie," Amy declared.

"What's going on? Why did you cover my face?" Maddie signed frantically.

Gil smirked. He didn't get to brag about this often, but he was actually pretty strong. He was the undefeated arm wrestling champ in college and it won him a lot of free drinks. Girl or not, Amy was going down. He rolled up his sleeve and glanced to see if Maddie stole a glance at his muscles. He was pretty sure she did. He gripped the hand Amy she offered.

"1...2...3...Go!" Amy counted down.

Gil flexed and pushed to bring Amy's hand down. Neither one of them moved. They were at a standstill. Gil took a breath and pushed harder. Their grip swerved a bit and went right back to neutral.

He looked up at his opponent, bewildered that they were in this position. She stared him down as if to say, "See how strong I am? This is proof that I can and will hurt you if you try anything stupid with my sister."

After a while, she let that melt away and gave a hint about how much effort she was putting into the match. She looked impressed. She gave the smallest of nods of acknowledgment and stopped pushing.

Gil slammed her hand into the table, unable to control his strength after resisting for so long. Half of his coffee splashed out of his cup and onto his attempt at writing out the music. His celebration was cut short as he attempted to save his work. Maddie got up to help him.

"Ah well, I guess you win this time, Gil," Amy said, getting up from the table. "Remind me to challenge you to a rematch later."

She waved goodbye to the couple and left the little coffee shop.

"I'm really sorry about my sister," Maddie said after the coffee had soaked up. "She can be a bit overprotective at times."

"I get it. I'm kinda like that with my baby brother," Gil said. "He's really cute, so it makes me want to protect him even more. He's not so little anymore, but it's hard to think of him as anything else."

Maddie squirmed. "What did she say to you when she covered my eyes?"

Gil didn't know the sign for "threaten." "Nothing. Why?"

"A lot of the guys I like tend to go for my sister once they meet her. She's prettier than me and she can hear. Sometimes she flirts with guys to make them leave me earlier so it doesn't hurt so much later," she signed.

Gil started to sign but pulled out his phone instead. He wanted to make sure he got this right.

"First off, your sister is not prettier than you. In all honesty, she seems like kind of a jerk. You're much prettier both inside and out. Second, these past guys sound like assholes. You're better off without them. Third of all, it sounds like you like me, which, if true, makes you a million percent better. Pretty much perfect, hearing or not."

Maddie stared at her phone for a while, making Gil extremely nervous. He knew he blew it. He must have been coming off way too strong. It must have been all the music in his head, making this seem like some rose-colored world where honest words could actually change someone's feelings. If he was smart, he would have learned that it wouldn't work.

Maddie looked at him, her eyes wet and sparkling. "Thank you," she signed. She gathered her things.

Gil blinked. He had no idea what just happened. He was pretty sure he had proved his worth to go with Maddie on a date. Now, he wasn't quite sure where he stood. He rubbed his hand. Man, Amy had been a lot stronger than he expected. He really should be more careful when it came to challenges like that. A musicians hands were their most valuable possessions.

* * *

"Ooh! What a rare sight!"

"It looks like he's actually thinking!"

"Think he's writing out a love confession?"

"Fuck off, I'm writing a song," Gil snapped at his friends.

Francis and Toni looked at each other and simultaneously started cracking up.

"Dude, that's even worse!" Francis laughed out. "No wonder you look like you're having a brain aneurysm."

"Fuck you. It's awesome. And once it's finished, it's going to blow your puny minds," Gil said, finishing off the line with a flourish.

"Lemme see!" Toni said as he snatched up the scrap of paper. The two men played keep away from Gil as they shared the music between them. The romp didn't last long since Gil was taller and had a longer reach.

"Hey, you're missing a chord," Toni said.

"No, I'm not," Gil said defensively. He knew he was far from finished, but it was all part of the creative process. Besides, there was no way Toni could figure that out from just a couple of stolen glances.

"It's true. Your musical phrases would transition a lot better if you added this," Toni said. He picked up his guitar, plugged it in. He had memorized the chord progressions of Gil's song. Gil had been struggling to make the connections without sounding too discordant, but Toni just seemed to embrace it and transformed into something that actually made sense.

"Whoa..." Gil said.

"Toni, are you actually some sort of musical genius?" Francis asked accusingly.

"No. Gil has some really cool ideas. This is just my way of helping him interpret them," Toni said.

"So like this?" Gil played the sickest bass line that had been stuck in his head for days and factored in the new chord.

"Yeah, and then the guitar part could go like this." Toni added in an equally sick guitar part that still let the bass shine through. Once Francis added in the beat, they were really jamming, repeating the same chord progressions over and over again until Gil could feel the music vibrating in his bones.

They all seemed to know when to stop, letting the music resonate throughout the space. Gil could feel the smallest of awesome tears come to his awesome eyes.

"I think this might be the start of something really beautiful," Francis said only half sarcastically.

"There's nothing beautiful about betrayal," Arthur said, storming in. "You guys sound like crap."

Gil could believe that a bit. They were close. Very close, but there needed to be something deeper to the music.

"Just because you didn't write it, doesn't mean it's crap," Francis defended his friend.

"Look, I'll stick to the songwriting. You guys stick to playing it. The last thing we need is some sort of mutiny to throw off the dynamic."

For the entirety of practice, Gil kept on thinking about where he could improve. He also couldn't help but think of Maddie. What she thought of him. If there was any sort of way he could have played off the day's awkwardness better. He probably shouldn't have called her sister a jerk. Even if it was kinda true.

"Hey," Toni whispered as Gil was putting his instrument away.

"What?" Gil whispered back, wondering why they were whispering.

"Let me help you write the song." Toni gave a shit-eating grin. "I like the idea of mutiny."


	6. Chapter 6

Gil's first date attire admittedly needed some work. He had realized too late that his "nice" clothes either didn't fit or were wrinkled beyond recognition. He had to settle for clothes that he would wear on any other day. He thought he looked good. These were his favorite clothes after all, but he was hoping that Maddie wouldn't judge him too harshly for not dressing more special.

He did look a little out of place standing in front of the community center. Rebels didn't normally loiter in front of posters reminding others to care for each other and their community. Gil had spent the past few minutes thinking about how some of their community reminders of casting votes, getting flu shots, and cleaning up the city were actually pretty punk rock. He made a mental reminder to volunteer more.

It wasn't much longer before Maddie appeared. Unfortunately for Gil's inexperienced heart, she had dressed up for the occasion. She was wearing a flowing red dress with giant white polka dots. Her hair was in her normal pigtails, but her hair seemed extra shiny with perfectly coiffed curls.

Gil had to take a breather and rest his hands on his knees.

Maddie approached even quicker. "Are you okay?" she signed.

Gil stood up straight. He could already feel his face flushing. "I'm okay. It's nothing. You're just really pretty. I got overwhelmed."

Maddie beamed, which did nothing to help Gil's heart. She hooked her arm around his and leaned in. Gil thought he could die. She extended her hand to the door, indicating that they should go in.

Gil felt semi-robotic, trying too hard not to make a wrong move. Whatever he expected the deaf community to look like, he was mildly surprised. There were a few people Maddie and Gil's age. Some slightly older. Mostly a lot older. There were a few kids running around making signs at each other.

One of the guys around their age approached, waving happily. "Maddie!" he said aloud as well as signed. "It's nice to see you again."

Gil could tell that this guy's signing skills were much more advanced than his. His transitions were a lot smoother though his signs were simple.

Maddie unhooked her arm so that she could talk. Her hands were a beautiful flurry of words. Gil was only catching every other sign.

"Ah," the guy said. "Maddie says you've just started learning. I'm Ned. I teach some community beginner ASL classes."

"Yeah, I'm Gil," he reached out to shake his hand.

"It's always nice to see a new face around here."

Gil frowned slightly as Ned went to greet others in the deaf community. Obviously, everyone here thought of him as some sort of new recruit. His attitude change when he felt a soft pressure on his palm. Maddie's hand. She looked to him shyly. Gil smirked and intertwined his fingers with hers.

They went around and Maddie would introduce him to some of the people. Some were deaf. Some were parents of deaf children. Gil felt a little better when he saw them struggling to follow the signs as well.

Before long it was time to find a seat in front of the screen. Gil had always been a front and center kind of dude, so he grabbed a couple of seats for him and his date.

"Are you excited about the movie?" he asked.

"Yes. I always had a little bit of a crush on Jim," Maddie said.

Gil nodded. "Jim" was definitely a shorter name to spell than John Krasinski. And who didn't have a crush on Jim. Gil made a mental note that. The Office would be a good second through several hundredth date if he got that far.

From the corner of his eye, Gil saw another guy standing off to the side, positively glaring at Gil. He wasn't going to mention it to Maddie. It wasn't her fault that people had a problem with him.

"Want popcorn?" Gil made a show of making the popcorn sign pop all over the place.

She put on a breathy smile, a remnant version of a laugh, and nodded yes. Gil got up and went over to the table where you could get free popcorn. Apparently, all you had to do was sign for what you wanted, and Gil had that down pat. Now, he just had to dare that dude to confront him in front of the popcorn lady.

But apparently, Gil had not been the man's target. He had sat down next to Maddie. Uncomfortably close. Gil could tell from there that this was not a welcome development. The dude's body was blocking out what he was signing.

Gil collected his popcorn and went over to claim his spot. Even if the seat on the other side of Maddie had been empty, there was no way Gil would make her sit next to someone she clearly disliked.

Gil planted himself in front of the screen and handed Maddie her popcorn. She smiled nervously at him. Gil shoved the other bag of popcorn into the guy's hands.

"That's my seat," Gil said and signed.

"Doesn't have your name on it," nameless guy sneered. Gil would have forgiven that if the stranger was a preteen.

Maddie started to get up, clearly trying not to make a scene. But Gil was not above making a scene.

"Fine. Have it," he all too happily signed.

Gil proceeded to lift the guy and the chair up, hoisting him up over his head. The shock and awe came in waves of gasps after witnessing Gil's strength. He carried him to the back and placed the chair in line with the empty back row. The guy was too stunned to do or say anything. Gil took one of the empty chairs and brought it back to the front and placed it next to Maddie. He grabbed a fistful of popcorn from her bag as he sat down next to her still speechless frame.

She set the popcorn bag down in her lap.

"You're really strong," she signed.

Gil shrugged. He stretched his arm out and draped it across Maddie's shoulders. He made sure to send a glare out to the back row. He didn't notice how tense he had gotten until he felt Maddie lean into him. His breath caught and a strange warmth radiated from her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," she signed.

Gil worked on taking nice, controlled breaths. The warmth settled in all over as the lights dimmed and the movie started.

* * *

It surprised Gil how good the movie was despite nearly all being signed. He was also surprised it had been shown in a family community center despite its horror themes. The plus of watching a movie with deaf people was that it was easy to hold a conversation without disturbing the rest of the audience. The minus was that when Gil flinched due to an audio scare, all the nonhearing people looked at him like he was crazy.

"That was a good movie," Maddie signed once the film was over. She separated herself from leaning on Gil's side.

"Yes," Gil agreed. "Do you want to grab a quick bite to eat? I've got practice later, but..." Gil didn't want to say goodbye yet. "I thought we could spend a little more time together."

"Sure. Just let me say goodbye to some people before we leave."

Gil did a subtle fist pump. He didn't understand all of her signs but he did understand the yes.

When Maddie went to go converse with others, Ned approached Gil.

"Did you enjoy the movie, Gil?" Ned asked, not bothering to sign between the two of them.

"Uh yeah," Gil responded, trying to keep an eye on how close Maddie was to leaving.

"So are you and Maddie a thing?"

Gil started to get defensive. "Yes," he lied. "Is that a problem?"

Ned held up his hands. "Not at all. It's just that I know Tommy had a pretty big crush on Maddie the last time she was here. That's probably why he caused that little disturbance before the movie started."

So the punk's name was Tommy, Gil thought. He looked around the room to see if he could get a visual on the little sleazeball.

"Anyway, as I mentioned before, I teach a couple of sign language classes. I'd be more than happy to help you fill in some of the gaps that you..."

Ned prattled on as Gil scanned the room. He found the dude talking to Maddie. She looked really uncomfortable watching his hands. They looked aggressive and inappropriate, though Gil couldn't pin down why. She closed her eyes and looked away. The bastard grabbed her chin and slapped her signing something about how she needed to look at him when he was talking.

Gil saw red. He pushed past Ned and rushed at Tommy. He may not have been very experienced with sign language, but there was one form of hand to hand communication he knew all too efficiently.

Maddie's face went from hurt to relieved to horrified as Gil came to her rescue by pounding his message into Tommy's head.


	7. Chapter 7

It took several minutes for people to drag Gil off of Tommy. Once the feat was managed, Maddie dragged Gil out and away from the community center. It took several blocks for Gil to pull himself together. He was still mad but also self-aware.

Maddie turned on a dime to face him. She looked pissed. Gil was about to sign his apologies when she wrapped her arms around him. The action surprised Gil so much, he was hardly able to register her body pressing against his.

"That was stupid, " Maddie said when she let go.

"Are you okay?" Gil attempted to sign, but his hands were sore. As expected his hands were red and raw. The skin was peeling back from his knuckles.

Maddie frowned at his hands. The sheer stupidity of his actions was starting to dawn on Gil. He couldn't talk to Maddie if he didn't have his hands. He should have used his feet to kick the bastard instead.

Maddie took his hands and squeezed him a little too hard. He gave a little yelp but his cries were to no avail. Maddie took him to the corner pharmacy and bought a first aid kit. Gil tried to protest, tried to explain that it would heal on its own and he was used to it, but she was keeping his hands hostage. She stopped at a bench and ordered him to sit down with a point.

Gil obeyed, and Maddie sat down next to him. She opened the kit and wordlessly started treating his wounds. She disinfected his raw knuckles and carefully started wrapping his hands. Her movements were so delicate and gentle, Gil was mesmerized. He was in deep.

Once she was done, she placed his hands in his lap.

"Thank you for standing up for me at the movie. I never thought Tommy was the type to go to violence. But you shouldn't either. You hurt yourself because of me. I didn't want that. I was so worried."

"I'm sorry," Gil finally managed to sign out. He didn't quite understand what she was trying to say.

Maddie frowned and grabbed his hands again. Gil couldn't help but smile. She looked cute even when mad.

She held down his hands with one of hers and placed her other one on his face. Gil inhaled. He had no clue what was going on. She leaned in and kissed him.

Gil was frazzled. He thought Maddie was mad at him, but he found himself in the perplexing and wonderful situation where her lips were softly moving against his.

He responded in kind, doing his best despite being partially restrained. He had been so worried about being out of practice, but kissing was like riding a bicycle. And every girl he had ever kissed said he was an awesome kisser.

The effects of his skill were starting to take a toll on Maddie. Her resistance on his hands gradually lessened. She moved that hand to the other side of his face.

Gil took the opportunity to move one hand to the back of her head, playing with the small curls at her hairline that were too short to go in her pigtail.

Maddie broke the kiss, not nearly as mad as when she started. She almost looked shy now, nervously biting her lower lip.

"You have to know why you got into a fight because of me," she signed.

Gil was even more confused. He had gotten into fights for much less. He once punched a guy in high school who said he was gay for eating a hotdog.

Maddie proceeded to take out her phone and started to type. Gil waited patiently.

Maddie considered her wording and then showed her phone to Gil.

"I met Tommy when I first moved here. I was a deaf girl in a big city, and he was nice to me. Maybe too nice. I should have taken notice when he treated me like I was helpless. We had gone on a couple of dates, but it didn't feel right. Last month at the community event, he told me that he loved me and wanted to make our relationship official. He forced a kiss on me. I told him very clearly that I wasn't looking for a relationship and I was still getting used to moving here. I told him I considered him a friend and did not want a romantic relationship with him. He ignored me after that. I've heard from other girls here that he has a thing for deaf women, so I erased the thought of him from my mind. After meeting you, I got so caught up, I didn't consider how bringing you to the community event would make him feel. He overreacted and said some very rude things, but his actions were not entirely unwarranted. I made him jealous."

Gil could feel his anger creeping up again. Not for Maddie of course, but now that he knew the story he wanted to beat Tommy all over again. He took a deep breath and decided to make a confession of his own.

"I really don't care if his actions were warranted or not. Tommy is not the first asshole I've punched and probably won't be the last. I got picked on a lot, so I've been in a lot of fights. I had a problem directing my anger. I went to a lot of counseling in high school. One of the ways I learned to deal with it was through music, but that's a long story. I've had my heart broken, and I've been a victim of jealousy. Neither are excuses to hit someone you love. He treated you like a possession because you were just a fetish to him. I won't let anyone treat you like that."

Maddie gave a small smile as she read. "I'd like to know your story someday," she signed.

Gil smiled back. "Then, I'll tell you someday." He checked the time on his phone.

"Do you have to go?" Maddie asked.

"Yes," he signed. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

She nodded.

Gil took her face in his padded hands and kissed her forehead. Just that small motion left his heart in a frenzy.

Her eyebrows knit together. It looked like she was going to sign something, but she gave up and waved goodbye.

Gil didn't have time to dwell on what she thought of him right then and there. He had to grab his bass and make it to practice.

* * *

The only thing that was saving Gil's ass was that Arthur hadn't shown up to practice. He had managed to pull on an old pair of fingerless gloves to cover up Maddie's handiwork. Right now he was swooning, reminiscing over every millisecond of Maddie kissing him. He struck out chords on his bass guitar slowly, careful not to strain or overextend his hands.

Francis was swooning right back. "Gil, you've been holding out on us. Where have you been hiding those chord changes?"

"Have you started a new song?" Toni asked excitedly. "Did something good happen with your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend yet," Gil said, finally hitting a discordant note.

"Reminds me of when I first fell in love," Toni reminisced, churning out a romantic melody of his own.

"She's not my first love," Gil said. He was obviously was off his groove. He tried to think of what he was playing. "I'm not naïve."

Francis laughed. "How cute."

"So, when can we meet up?" Toni asked. "I want to get your songs playable and repeatable. It's really going to help us take off."

"Wait, what are you guys talking about?" Francis scolded them. "Arthur isn't..."

"Arthur doesn't give a shit about what we think. Why should I care what he thinks?" Toni put down his guitar. "You see the way he treats Gil. He'd never give his ideas a chance."

"Let's hear it then, " Arthur said, coming out of nowhere and already combatant. "What sort of fantastic ideas does Gil have for the band that are better than mine?"

Francis frowned. "This isn't a competition. If you want to compare dick sizes, fine. Just don't take it out on the band."

"Stay out of this Francis, this doesn't concern you," Arthur hissed.

Francis raised his arms in exasperation. "Am I not in the band, too?!"

"Let's hear it, Gilbert. Bring it on. And it better not be the same shit as last time."

Gil didn't play into his goading. "Fuck off, Arthur. You're not king of the band."

"Maybe not, but I'm the best one out of the three of you," Arthur yelled.

"Say that again?" Toni threatened.

"You heard me! I'm the one who puts the most effort in. I book all our gigs. I keep all of your asses in line..."

"It's not like anyone asked for you to do that..." Gil said under his breath.

"You want to take this outside, Beilschmidt?" Arthur threatened.

Gil seriously considered it. "Nah, I've punched my asshole quota for the day."

"It's not like you to be a coward, Gil." He marched onstage and grabbed Gil's wrist to keep him from playing.

"Ah, fuck!" Gil exclaimed as Arthur ripped off one of Gil's fingerless gloves, taking some of the stuck on bandages with it.

Arthur's face went to pure rage when he saw Gil's injured hand. "You really don't give a shit about the band, do you, Gil?!"

"It's not like I can't play," Gil defended. Which was a partial lie since now his knuckles were throbbing.

"We have a performance this weekend! What were you planning to do, half-ass your usual half-ass playing? That leaves us with a quarter-ass of a mediocre bass!" Arthur started pacing the stage. "Don't bother showing up tomorrow or any other practice. I'll find someone else."

"Arthur," Gil tried to reason with him.

"I'm serious. You're out of the band."

"Last I checked kicking members out was a band decision, " Francis said finally having enough. "If Gil goes, I go too."

"Me three," Toni piped in. "And if we're going by democratic band rules, I think that means you're the one kicked out, Arthur."

Francis frowned. "That's not how that..."

"You want me gone so badly! Fine, I quit! See how long your stupid band sticks together based on friendship alone." Arthur stormed out.

"Arthur, wait!" Francis put down his sticks and followed after Arthur.

"Argh! I'm too mad to play," Toni declared, putting away his guitar. "Screw that bastard. We're better off without him."

That left Gil the only one left for practice, clutching his beaten up hand. He ran the still gloved hand through his hair. "Well, shit."


	8. Chapter 8

Gil was really struggling here. He did not get music writing at all. Toni and Francis were supposed to come over and help him, but they were already late. Later than musician late.

He heard the scream of his phone, telling him he got a text message. He expected it to be from Francis, but he was pleasantly surprised to see it was Maddie.

"How are your hands?"

Gil really hadn't given much thought to them. They looked ugly, but they had scabbed over nicely.

"Much better. I told you it was no big deal!"

"Are you not coming to the coffee shop? I was hoping to see you."

Gil couldn't stand the bittersweet ache in his heart.

"One of the band members quit, so I've been trying to work some things out band-wise. It's been keeping me pretty busy. I'll try to make time to stop by!"

"I don't want to inconvenience you. Could I bring you coffee?"

She was perfect. She was just too perfect.

"You'd never be an inconvenience. And I'll warn you, if you bring me coffee, that would literally be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. You'll be an angel in my mind."

"Where are you?"

He sent her his address. It was only after he sent it that he realized he may need to clean up a bit. The cleaning was a nervous habit. He had quite literally nothing in his apartment. He'd been sitting on a milk crate for hours, so it was good to find an excuse to stretch his legs. It couldn't have been more than 15 minutes when he heard a knock at his door. Gil smoothed his hair, thought better of himself, and ruffled it up again.

He opened the door to find Maddie nervously waiting for him. She held a cup of coffee in each hand.

Gil couldn't stop his heart from skipping. He wanted to all manner of impolite things to her at the threshold of his apartment. But he couldn't. She just looked too cute.

He waved instead. "Do you want to come in?" he signed.

She nodded. He led her into the mostly empty apartment. He took another milk carton off the stack and set it on the ground.

Maddie looked around and judged his living space. If she had anything to say, she certainly wasn't signing with two mugs of coffee in her hand. Gil took one and placed it in front of his amp on the floor. He sat down on the milk carton by his bass.

Maddie took the other one and gingerly put her coffee on the floor.

"I forgot how you take your coffee."

Gil took a sip. It was way too sweet but he didn't let it show on his face. "This is fine, " he signed back.

Maddie fidgeted.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Gil was embarrassed. "Do you want me to get you a pillow?"

"No. It's just surprising. There's nothing in your apartment."

Gil shrugged. "I don't need much."

"What are you working on?"

"A song. It's not going very well, " Gil admitted.

"Can I feel it?"

"No, it's not finished."

She looked disappointed and sighed, taking a sip of her coffee.

Gil held up a finger.

He turned the amp up a little higher. He played through a bass line, one he thought sounded cool. He gauged her reaction.

Maddie closed her eyes and slid to the floor. She spread her hands on the surface just in front of the amp. Gil continued to play, watching every bit of her start to relax.

He was just mindlessly playing when she opened her eyes and started to sign. "Gil, you're so cool."

Gil could feel himself blush and continued to play.

"I like you a lot."

Gil nodded and continued to blush more.

Maddie sighed again. "Too much, I think. Everything you do or don't do is driving me crazy."

Gil hit a sour note, simply astounded by what he was seeing. "Why?" he signed over the strings

"I keep trying to think of a reason why you didn't kiss me when you left. Sometimes I think it's because you don't like me like that. Sometimes I think I'm just getting obsessive. I spend so much of my time thinking up over the top romantic gestures for novels, and I just don't know what to do in real life. I just get so nervous not knowing."

Gil set aside his bass. He knelt down in front of Maddie. He really was incapable of saying anything at the moment. He hesitated, then cupped her face with his hands. Her breath caught, anticipation sweetening her skin and burning through her eyes. As soon as Gil pressed his lips against hers, the words finally came to him. How he felt like he was taking advantage of her because this was better than he deserved. That he hadn't wanted to kiss her again thinking she had only allowed it out of gratitude. But he wanted to kiss her each moment he saw her face. He craved her warm, sweet coffee taste.

His blood raced as she wrapped her arms around him. She in no way was passive in the kiss. She enticed him nearer, drawing his body onto hers.

Their lips parted a moment as he fell onto her. Gil's head was still swimming from pleasure and embarrassment. Maddie smiled in the same loopy way.

"I get it now, " she signed right in front of his face. "You're shy."

No one in the entirety of Gil's existence would dare to call him shy. His lips crashed to hers again, causing a breathy, delightful laugh to escape from Maddie. He kissed her lips, her face, her neck, as if he was wordlessly trying to disprove her point about him being shy. He was just debating whether he should go ahead with sliding his hand up her shirt when he heard the door open.

He looked up to find Francis and Toni in the frame. Maddie still unaware, tried to draw Gil down to his previous business.

"I would offer to come back later, but we're sort of in a crisis here, " Francis said.

Toni pursed his lips together, but it couldn't hide his shit-eating grin.

It pretty much killed Gil to stave off Maddie's advances, but she quickly withdrew when she saw they were no longer alone.

"I'll leave. Talk to me soon?"

Gil nodded. Prompted by Maddie's last disappointment, he gave her a last kiss goodbye, and she scurried past his bandmates and out of his apartment.

Francis' eyes followed her a bit too long. Toni pushed past him and let himself in.

Gil pulled himself up. "You're late."

"No, no, you're the late one, my friend. But it looks like you make up for it by moving fast, " Toni teased.

Gil rolled his eyes. "You know, you talk shit game about me moving slow, but you never talk about your sexual conquests."

"You're right." Toni sat down, got his guitar out and started tuning it.

Gil was waiting for some sort of follow up, but it never came. He made an exasperated gesture for Francis.

"Don't look at me. You always tell me to shut up when I talk about my love life."

"Because you brag, " Gil said. "I know way too much about yours."

"Would it satisfy you to know that it is wonderfully uneventful?" Toni offered.

Gil could tell he was lying. He saw the way girls flocked to him after the shows.

"Absolutely not. But that aside, we need to figure out what we're going to do. I don't know about you guys, but I cannot afford to give up these gigs, " Francis said.

"Well, we've got Gil's song. Plus, we got the band's originals. I can modify my guitar part a bit to make it more cohesive with just the three of us. We just need someone to sing."

"I volunteer as..." Gil started.

"What are the lyrics to our most popular song, Gil?" Francis challenged.

"Uh..." Gil's mind blanked. Usually, he was way too focused on his own part to try to figure what angsty shit Arthur had been singing.

"Can you sing, Toni?"

Toni proceeded to sing in a tone entirely different than Arthur. His voice was clear, smooth, with a bit of a breathy rasp that would all too accurately be described as sexy.

"That'll do."

"Shit..." Gil said under his breath in admiration.

Practice was slow, but as soon as things were figured out as far as old songs went, they worked pretty much flawlessly.

"Alright. Feel a lot less panicked now. Pretty sure the bar manager won't strangle us at the gig. Got anything new on your song, Gil?" Francis visibly relaxed.

"Do you think it's too early to start running some lyrics by you?"


	9. Chapter 9

Gilbert fiddled with the paper tent. Reserved was written in the fanciest script he could manage. The table was near the front of the stage, pushed nearly all the way to the side. Not only was it right against the speakers, but the only person you could see on the stage from this angle was the bassist.

He was going to tell her. Tonight. If he wanted to go any farther with Maddie, he'd have to tell her.

"Hey."

The voice startled Gilbert the slightest bit. He looked to find a short girl with rich, dark auburn hair. She was pretty in a mad way and looked like she'd rather be doing anything besides talking to Gilbert.

"Can I...help you?" he couldn't imagine he could possibly be in her way.

"I'm looking for my husband, " she said. "Is he backstage?"

Gilbert still couldn't figure out why she was talking to him. "Maybe? Is he performing tonight?"

She glared at him. She then glared down to the table. "Is that supposed to be for me?"

"No?" What is wrong with this lady, Gil thought.

"Thank God, " she said and pulled out her phone. "If he stuffed me into a corner, I think I'd punch him in his sleep."

Gil was starting to rethink his seating choice.

"Lovina!" Another girl cried out. This girl was even cuter than the last. The resemblance between the two was too strong to be anything other than sisters. This girl had hair a shade or two lighter. Her loose curls were pulled back into a ponytail. She grabbed her sister's arm. "Someone touched my butt."

"Feliciana, I told you to stay close. You never know what kind of losers you'll find in dives like this, " Lovina scolded. She looked right and Gil when she said losers.

Feliciana gave Gil a small wave. "Hi. Are you playing tonight? You look like one of those musician types."

"Uh yeah."

Feliciana looked down at the table. "Oh, we're sorry. It looks like you're waiting for your girlfriend."

Gil couldn't fight the smile at the mention of the word girlfriend.

Feliciana started pulling her sister away. "Break a leg up there!"

Gil leaned against the table and looked around. He checked his phone one more time. He had gotten a text. He hadn't heard it go off in the growing crowd.

"We're here!"

He looked around more fervently. Sure enough, the blonde bombshell was at the bar flirting with the bartender. Maddie had brought Amy with her.

Gil eventually saw Maddie politely trying to fight the crowd unwilling or unable to force her way through.

Gil had no such problem. If people didn't move away he shoved his way through until he had the beautiful girl in his hands. He held her hips and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Who was that?" Maddie signed.

Gil looked at the ladies he had been talking to. "A crazy woman and her sister. Thought your table was for her. I can try to get you somewhere else. I didn't know your sister was coming. She probably doesn't want to be right next to the speaker."

Maddie waved off his concerns. "She'll be at the bar the whole night. Do girls usually hit on you at your concerts?"

"Girls never hit on me." Gil brought her to the table. "Besides, crazy lady is apparently married."

"And the sister?"

"Not my type."

"You have a type?"

Gill rolled his eyes and pulled to the corner behind the speakers. He propped her up against the wall and kissed her. His blood raced as she responded positively, relaxing into putty in his hands.

"Understand?"

She nodded, dreamily.

He brought her back out to the light. "I'll be up soon. Meet me after? There's something important I want to talk to you about."

Maddie nodded again. She held Gil's hand until the last moment, and then let it go with a kiss.

Once Gil was backstage, Toni pulled him aside.

"Did you tell her?"

Gil brushed off his gripping hands. "Not yet. But how would you know anything about that?"

"I saw her come in."

"Who? Liz?" Gil felt his stomach drop.

"What? No! My wife."

"Wait, wait, wait... You're married? Crazy lady's your wife?!"

Toni's expression went dark. "What did you say about my wife, you piece of shit?"

"Whoa, dude, chill. I only thought she was crazy because she assumed I knew her husband. Turns out I do. So she's not crazy. Totally sane." Her husband on the other hand... Gil thought.

"She must have found out I was performing again. Shit, I haven't sung lead since she and I were dating. She made me promise to stop being center stage because she didn't like having to fight over me all the time. Plus, I'm out of practice..."

"Dude." Gil gripped his shoulder. "You never get stage fright. You'll be fine. If she asks, just say I told you she was here and you were singing for her. And if it's really going to bother you, I can sing."

That got Toni to smile. "Not a chance."

"Hey, Francis!" Gil caught sight of his friend. "Did you know Toni's married?"

"Mazel tov, now are you guys going to get ready or not?"

They finished setting up on stage. There were of catcalls from ladies in the crowd as they check out the band. Gil snuck a glance over to Maddie. She blushed when she noticed him looking at her. He gave her a wink.

Before he could get caught up in performance jitters, Francis started counting off. They got through the intro of the first song. Gil looked at Maddie, judging her reaction. The look of pure delight on her face was breathtaking. Gil's laughter was drowned out, but he got the drive to throw himself into the music.

* * *

It may not have been the perfect show, but it was pretty damn close. Fans were nearly throwing themselves onstage. You could barely even hear Toni at the end of it. After three encores, the three bandmates shuffled offstage utterly exhausted.

"That...was awesome!" Gil panted.

"Yeah, " Toni croaked. "Did you see my wife? I've never seen her look so hot."

"She was definitely swooning, " Gil confirmed.

"Wait, that wasn't a joke?" Francis said. "You've been deceiving us this whole time?"

Toni pulled on the chain around his neck, revealing a wedding band beneath the deep V of his shirt. He slipped it off and put it on his left hand. "Only for the sake of the band." He winked at his mates. "I better get out there. I imagine I'm going to have a busy night."

Gil saw a flash of the crowd as Toni can out from backstage. The girls were absolutely swarming, but Toni half out his left hand in self-defense.

"What about you? You secretly married too?" Francis asked.

Gil laughed nervously. "No. No, you're crazy. It's waaaaay too soon to be thinking about anything like that."

Francis snapped the last latch closed on his drum kit. "Well, if Toni's taken that means less competition for me. I imagine I'll have a busy night as well." He looked at Gil meaningfully. "Make sure you have one too, for once."

"Hey, don't say..."

"Ladies, ladies, no need to make a single file, " Francis said as he walked out from backstage.

Gil sighed. He was really getting nervous now. He secured his bass and took his turn walking out from backstage.

Much to his surprise, there were several girls waiting for him.

"You played the bass, right?! You were so cool!"

"Those bass lines were hot..."

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Whoa, hold on. I've already promised to meet someone. Maybe at the next show, okay?" Gil tried to brush them off, but they were surprisingly clingy. He tried to search among their faces to see if Maddie was among the entourage. A hand suddenly reached through and pulled him through the thrall with a surprising amount of force. He found himself chest to chest with Amy. He heard some whines as she held his head down close to her mouth.

"I just wanted to say you were really good up there, " she whispered in his ear.

Gil had no idea that a girl like Amy could be quiet. It sent an uncomfortable shiver down his spine.

"Now that I've helped you ditch these bitches, pay some attention to my sister. She may need a little bit of encouragement after that."

Gil was surprised at the comment. He looked around to find Maddie still sitting at the table, looking like a sad puppy and gazing longingly at Gil and Amy's embrace.

"Good call, " Gil whispered back. He broke away and went straight to Maddie.

"What's the matter?" he signed. "Did you not like the show?"

"I did, " she signed back. "I can see why you have so many fans."

Gil scoffed. "Them? See how quickly they ran off? They aren't my fans. You on the other hand..." He sat down across from her and looked at her dreamily. "You're all I'm interested in."

That finally got her to put on a small smile. "You were really cool up there. And the music felt amazing."

Gil grinned. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Maddie nodded. He took her by the hand and led her up to the bar. He nabbed some prime real estate and a drink menu for Maddie. She studied it as he ordered the bar's beer special. She ended up pointing to it as well, so he made it a double. He waited to see a satisfied look on her face before he got to the point.

"I want you to read something that may change your opinion of me. I think it's important for you to know the real me. I want you to know the real me, but I'm afraid you won't like me anymore."

Maddie sat there with a confused look on her face. So, Gil reached into his jacket and pulled out several pieces of paper folded together.

Maddie read them as she sipped her beer.

* * *

In the midst of Gil's troubled youth, there was only one solace for him. before there was music, there was Liz. Before he even understood love, Liz was the center of his world. They were the best of friends and the fiercest of rivals in everything. Their relationship was fire and passion.

In high school, Liz joined the orchestra, and so did Gil. She played the violin, so he played the upright bass. There was music and discovery and epiphany. Gil slowly came to understand what love was. And how much Liz meant to him.

As he explored and deepened their relationship, their friendship became complicated and physical. They fought frequently and made up almost instantly. That was always how they were. This continued to college. Gil would have followed her to the ends of the earth, and he thought she would too. Suddenly, she became enamored with someone else. He was talented and effortless and pretentious.

Gil never thought Liz would fall for someone like that. Gil found himself fighting even harder. He would play the upright until his fingers bled just to show her that he was better, that he could be better. At this point, their relationship was only physical, but Gil would have taken any part of her he could.

He came home to their apartment to find Liz gone. Just a note that she had dropped out to follow that someone else. Gil had immediately called her, pleading with her to stay with him. He wept as he professed his love. But this Liz wasn't the one he grew up to love. She was cold and unrelenting. She had never loved him. She had never seen a future with him. He was nothing compared to the next guy. He was mediocre at best and irritating. He was unsophisticated and a dick with an over-inflated ego. All of which was painfully true.

So, Gil withdrew. He dropped out and hid behind a persona. He would have ended it all if it weren't for the music. He sold his upright and got an electric one. He changed the genre. He roamed trying to find himself in the music. It got easier when he found his friends, his bandmates. But easy wasn't enough.

When he met Maddie, he got glimpses of the passion, but it was different than the burning fire that was Liz. It was flowing. Deeper. And new and unfamiliar. And bit by bit, the music started to mean something. But he knew it wasn't just the music. He could feel himself falling in love again. And it terrified him and yet he couldn't want anything more.

* * *

In the letter, Gil confessed all of this. His doubts, his inexperience, his faults. Maddie read them slowly. Two and a half beers later, she read and reread passages scattered through the pages of Gil's life story. Finally, Maddie looked up at Gil.

Gil stiffened like a bolt had run up his back. Maddie closed her eyes and ripped up the papers and put them in her half-full glass of beer.

Gil's mouth gaped open in shock. Whatever response he expected from her, he hadn't been expecting that.

"Take me home, " Maddie demanded.

Gil hurried to gather his stuff. As he walked her back, he begged her internally to sign something more. But before long they were alone at the threshold of her apartment building.

She buzzed herself in. Gil sighed, running his hand through his hair. Maddie caught his attention and waved him in. The further she led him, the more confused Gil got. When they eventually got to her apartment, Gil felt incredibly awkward. He could not read the situation at all.

She opened the door. "Come in?"

He followed her in warily. After she closed the door, he started to sign how sorry he was, but she held down his wrists, stood on her toes and kissed him. She wrapped his arms around the small of her back.

"I want you," she signed. "You are nice. You are smart. You are sexy. You are amazing. I want you. I want you. I want you."

She kept signing "I want you" until Gil's lips crashed against hers once more. He was overjoyed. He could feel the heat burning in his mouth and building in his groin.

Maddie was much less reserved in the comfort of her apartment. She pulled him closer by his jacket, then pushed it off his shoulders and arms. She took off her own shirt, and Gil could finally see what she had been hiding. She was every bit the bombshell her sister was and better. Her skin was flushed pink with dramatic curves. She was soft and warm as he touched her, kneaded her, longed for her. She let out an audible gasp as she would feel Gil's arousal pressed hard against her stomach.

Gil back off the tiniest bit, his face red with pleasure and embarrassment. "I'm sorry, " he signed. "I want you." he mirrored her own hands.

Maddie rolled her eyes and undid the zipper and button of his pants. She then proceeded to pull him by the belt loops into the bedroom.


End file.
